


six forty seven

by itwasabadidea



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-10-26 16:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20745209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itwasabadidea/pseuds/itwasabadidea
Summary: from matteo <3:i’m sorry. (2:58 pm)





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning. read the tags.
> 
> now playing: six forty seven by instupendo

from matteo <3:

_i’m sorry. (2:58 pm)_

david checks his phone as he walks to class. as he reads the text, something inside him clenches. he has a bad feeling about this. he knows something’s been off with matteo for the past few weeks, but every time he brought it up, matteo brushed him off.

but…something is wrong. very very wrong.

to matteo <3:

_are you okay? (2:59 pm)_

david quickly shoots out a text and then calls hans, ignoring the fact that he’s probably at work.

he picks up on the third ring.

“david? is everything oka-?”

“are you at home?”

“no i’m at work why?”

“i-i think something’s wrong with matteo. i think he’s gonna hurt himself.”

“where are you?”

“i’m on my way there right now.”

“okay. i’m coming.”

“okay.”

david hangs up. he takes a deep breath. his phone buzzes and he quickly opens the notification, thinking it’s from matteo.

it’s not.

from amira:

_hey. matteo just texted me something really weird. is he okay? (3:00 pm)_

to amira:

_i dont think so (3:00 pm)_

from amira:

_i’m coming over then (3:00 pm)_

david doesn’t bother with a reply, he just starts running.

-

halfway there, david’s phone rings. it’s from jonas.

“hello?” david pants.

“david. fuck. i-i’m on my way to wg. i think-i know, something’s wrong with matteo.” jonas says. he sounds out of breath, as if he’s been running too.

“i know. call mia and linn. tell them to go so that someone can at least get there first.”

“okay. i will see you soon.”

david hangs up.

-

david arrives at wg a few seconds after hans does, with jonas closely following behind. amira, mia, and linn arrive shortly after.

“MATTEO! MATTEO!” they shout, searching the flat for the lonely boy.

he’s not in his room, and the bathroom door is locked.

with the combined strength of jonas, david, mia, and amira, they are able to break the door down.

there lies matteo curled up on the cool tiles. an empty bottle of sleep medication next to him and half full glass of water.

“linn call an ambulance,” hans orders, and linn places the call immediately.

david is frozen.

matteo looks as if he’s fallen asleep on the floor, and david realizes that’s exactly what matteo intended. something quick and painless. he simply swallowed a handful of pills, and went to sleep.

david notices something different. he recognizes the black.

“that’s my hoodie,” he whispers to jonas, who’s standing next to him.

matteo wasn’t wearing that this morning, and david’s heart clenches at the fact that matteo wanted to surround himself with david in his final moments.

mia, hans and amira rush forward. amira checks his pulse. it’s faint, but it’s there.

“we have to make him throw up,” mia says, glancing at the bottle on the ground.

mia, hans, and jonas help sit matteo up. david holds his hair back and amira sticks her fingers down matteo’s throat.

he pukes all over the tiled floor.

“they’re here,” linn suddenly bursts into the room.

the paramedics take matteo away, and jonas squeezes david’s hand as they do so.

-

kiki, carlos, abdi, hanna, and sam are waiting for them at the hospital after a few frantic phone calls updating them on the situation. tears are shed and hugs are shared. they sit quietly in the lobby and hold their breath.

they tightly hold each other’s hands, and wait.


	2. 2

when matteo wakes up all he sees is white.

that’s how he knows he isn’t dead. he knows he wouldn’t get into heaven.

something tightens in his chest. he’s still here. he’s still alive. why is here? why why why why-

the door opens and the doctor walks in. he says words that matteo’s brain is too fuzzy to comprehend and that makes his ears ring. words like “24 hour watch…stomach pumped...dead if it weren’t for friends…psychiatrist will see you soon...”

he leaves, and in his place stands david, jonas, and hanna.

_ fuck. _

he doesn’t want to deal with them. doesn’t want to look them in the eyes and be reminded of what a fucking failure he is, and how he can’t do _ anything _right not even fucking dying-

he’s cut off by a sob.

jonas is the one who rushes over first, hanna following closely behind. david comes around on the other side of the bed and shakily takes matteo’s hand in both of his. 

matteo flinches. 

he doesn’t look at david.

jonas opens his mouth.

“y-you can’t do that to me matteo. i don’t-fuck. i don’t know what i’d do without you y-y-you’re it for me dude there’s no one else. you’re my fucking brother. i can’t-there’s no one else for me but you okay? you’re it. you can’t leave me-”

“jonas, _ jonas,” _hanna places a hand on jonas’ shoulder.

“im sorry,” jonas says. “im so fucking sorry luigi.”

matteo shakes his head. he has nothing to be sorry for. he didn’t do anything wrong. matteo is the failure here.

“we love you so much matteo. so _ so _ much okay? more than you know.” hanna whispers to him. 

tears well up in matteo’s eyes. david still hasn’t said anything. matteo doesn’t know if he wants him to.

he doesn’t see the look hanna and david exchange, but hanna takes the hint and escorts jonas out of the hospital room. 

the sound of the door closing resonates in matteo’s ears. 

it’s just him and david now.

even though david is the person matteo wants to see all the time, he’s the last person matteo wants to be alone with right now.

“matteo,” david starts. matteo faces the opposite direction. “matteo please look at me,” and matteo turns his head to see the worst sight he’s ever witnessed. david is crying. tears stream down his face, his lips are quivering, and matteo feels like the worst person in the world.

“don’t do that to me ever again.” david whispers. “do you know it felt? seeing you like that. finding you on the ground.” he rests his forehead against matteo’s hand and cries.

“i’m sorry,” matteo whispers.

sorry for being like this. sorry for not being enough, sorry for existing. sorry for being alive. sorry for failing. sorry sorry sorry. 

“_i’m _ sorry,” david says in response. “i’m sorry for not noticing and for not being there for you.” he squeezes matteo’s hand.

matteo can’t handle this. it’s too much. he just shakes his head and a tear steadily makes its way down his cheek.

“can i hold you? please i just-i need to hold you,” david says in a shaky voice. 

matteo nods and moves over to make room in the tiny hospital bed. it’s cramped, and slightly uncomfortable, but all that matters is that they’re in each other’s arms. matteo buries his face in david’s chest and trembles. david squeezes him so tight matteo thinks he’s trying to hold him together.

they cry.

-

an hour or two later finds matteo still leaning against david. amira is in the room as well, and matteo is trying to eat the food she brought. 

hans, mia, carlos and abdi all swung in one by one for only a few moments, needing to see if matteo was okay with their own eyes. 

that was all matteo was able to handle. 

after that, his doctor came in to inform matteo that the psychiatrist would be coming within the hour to speak to him, and amira appeared with food.

“food heals the heart,” she said. “you’re italian, you know this,” she tried to joke. but the sad expression on her face made the joke fall flat.

still, matteo managed to take a few bites before dreaming that he was done. no one argued with him.

amira and david try to distract him by talking about meaningless things. the weather, their most hated professor, what they had for breakfast a few days ago. 

matteo was smiling softly as he listened to david recount a story on how this one student in his class said something so ridiculous and so fake deep that the professor had to step outside for a few moments before resuming the lecture.

they are interrupted by a soft knock on the door and a petite blonde woman entering the room

“hi matteo,” she smiles at him. “my name is dr. aller. if it’s okay id like to take some time to speak with you?” matteo nods because what other choice does he have.

david and amira both leave the room after kissing him on the forehead or squeezing his hand. dr. aller smiles at the gesture.

“is that your boyfriend?” she asks, and matteo nods again.

she asks him questions and talks to him about his attempt. by the time she leaves matteo is so exhausted that he just wants to sleep. he tells david so when he gets back. 

david just nods and strokes his hair. 

“sleep baby, ill be here when you wake up okay?”

matteo dozes off and thinks about a universe where he never wakes up instead.

**Author's Note:**

> comments help.


End file.
